Realization
by tufstuf
Summary: Lily's best friend makes a mistake and needs to apologize and does it big time. Songfic: Sick inside by hope hartlow R


i'm sorry for the little note at the end of my story 'complicated'. i was hurt and my emotions got the best of me and now when i tried not writing anything, i almost died so here is yet again another songfic...

disclaimer: anything u recognize is not mine.

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Nena sat on her bed, in shock. It was a dare? For two days she was in heaven but she heard something that hurt her so bad that she just wanted to blurt out everything to Lily, her best friend. She knew she couldn't because it wouldn't come out right so she began pondering about what happened and what she can do. She decided to write in her journal. 

_Dear Diary,_

_I feel so pathetic and totally used. I should've known! I mean come on! James Potter would actually kiss me on his own free will? What was I thinking? I have never felt so stupid in my life. Should I tell Lily? Or is their a better way to tell her, not so directly. Maybe I should find a way to tell James and Lily how i feel at the same time. But then again, when are they ever together and not yelling at eachother. What should I do? Hmm...I can't think ot any---_

Nena stopped writing abruptly. She looked up sharply and turned the volume up on her wizard stereo that was charmed to play muggle songs, courtesy of Lily. "Oh my God. This is perfect! Why didn't I think of this before!" She whispered into the dead of the night. She smiled to herself and got up to look in her trunk for her gown for tomorrow's Valentine's Day Ball. She smiled at Lily, who was sleeping away,and thought to herself that this would accomplish two things: a) Nena could apologize to both and b) Lily might understand James' feelings toward her. "This is going to be great." Nena thought.

.-.-.-.-.At the Ball.-.-.-.-.

Nena was walking back from the headmaster's office towards the ball. She had asked Dumbledore if she could perform something in the beginning of the ball. She nervously walked down the stairs, ignoring the stares, toward the Great Hall. Ever since Dumbledore gave his consent for her to perform, her stomach started doing flip flops. She stopped at the bathroom near the great hall.She looked in the mirror and had to admit she looked nice.

Her brown hair with natural redish highlights were in a fancy pony tail complete with curls. She had on a red dressthat had a slant in the front and back going from midthigh of her left leg to midcalf on her right leg. The dress had a neckline that showed a little cleavage but not too much. It had sleeves that came three quarters way and flared out to more than on foot. On her feet, she hadon silver heels that laced up to two inches above her ankles. Her makeup was light but made her look absolutely gorgeous. Above her light brown eyes, on her eyelids, there was a silvery, glittery eyeshadow that matched her nails. She had on some bronze foundation and red lip gloss.

And last and most importantly, her jewelry. On her ears, she wore a silver hoop with red heart shaped beads cascading down to a little above her shoulders. She had the same type of necklace that was a choker and had tiny heart shaped beads cascading down in a triangle. She had a on about a dozen skinny silver and red bracelets, made of silver, on eachwrist.On her hand, she had a ring, given to her by her late grandmother. It was passed down from grandmother to granddaughter for decades now. It had 3 tiny diamonds on it but nonetheless, beautiful.

She walked out as two Hufflepuff ditzses walked in. The two girls took a double take at Nena, for no one had seen Nena in such a way. She was always hidden under her baggy clothes and sweatshirts or her school robes. The ditzses were wearing very revealing clothes that made Nena want to puke. Walking into the Great Hall, Nena replayed the song in her head over and over. When she walked into the Great Hall, she was in awe. Not because of the pink and red and white decor, but because the whole Hall seemed to be revolving around the stage that was placed strategically in the center. It was amazing but also nerve wrecking for Nena. She never thought that so much attention would be focused on her until now.

Taking a shaky breath, she walked towards the table where the Gryffindor girls were sitting. She force smiled at Lily, who looked at her concernedly. Nena shook her head slightly and sat down on her reserved seat. Lily nodded and went back to talking with the girl next to her. Nena and Lily can communicate without words. That is how well they know eachother.

Nervously twirling a strand of hair that had come loose from her ponytail, she watched absentmindedly as Lily pulled a tin of something out of her purse. She leaned over to Nena and whispered, "There is something up and I don't know what it is and I have a feeling you won't tell me but I can tell you are nervous about something. Whether it be about a boy or whatever,suck on this and it will calm your nerves. But remember you have to tell me sometime or another." She winked and slipped a mint onto Nena's hand. Nena whispered back, "I won't have to tell you anything. You are going to see it soon." Lily's face looked confused. "See what?" She asked. "You'll see." Nena replyed smiling. Lily humph-ed and sat back. Nena slipped the mint into her mouth and instantly relaxed. "Thanks." She said gratefully to Lily. Lily nodded but still looked a little put out, not being able to figure out what Nena was talking about.

As they finished their conversation, Dumbledore had found his way to the stage and centered himself on it. He gave a little welcoming speech and then right before the food came, he said that there would be a performance. Nena closed her eyes and wished to Merlin that someone else was also giving a performance. Unfortunately not.

"Everyone please welcome Nena Eleante to the stage!" Dumbledore cried out, trying to sound like a host of some show. Lily looked over at Nena, who still had her eyes closed, and nudged her. Nena opened her eyes and slowly stood up and made her way to the stage. She took the mike that Dumbledore had provided. Clearing her voice, she said, "Evening everyone. This song is for something that has recently happened to me." She looked pointedly at James who was seated not far away. "I hope that to whom ever this message goes out to understands." She shifted her gaze to Lily. Nena nodded to the band who started out. Then after counting the correct measures in her head, Nena started out.

_I'm just a girl who _

_Kissed a boy who _

_Is in love with someone else _

_I didn't mean to _

_Feel the way I do _

_It just happened by itself_

_And now I'm sick inside_

_Yeah, it makes me wanna cry_

_I'm so sorry about last night_

_Yeah, it happened so fast_

_I wanted it to last_

_In the moment it felt so right_

_But now I'm sick inside_

_He stopped by my house_

_We were hanging out_

_He was wondering were you are_

_We went walking_

_We were just talking_

_Then he kissed me by his car_

_And now I'm sick inside_

_Yeah, it makes me wanna cry_

_I'm so sorry about last night_

_Yeah, it happened so fast_

_I wanted it to last_

_In the moment it felt so right_

_But now I'm sick inside_

_Now I'm stuck with this feeling in the pit of my soul_

_Guess I should of had a little self-control_

_I knew that it was wrong, I admit it_

_I wish there was a way that I could make it all right_

_I really wanna tell you that I put up a fight_

_But that would be a lie_

_And now I'm sick inside_

_Yeah, it makes me wanna cry_

_I'm so sorry about last night_

_Yeah, it happened so fast_

_I wanted it to last_

_In the moment it felt so right_

_But now I'm sick inside_

_Now I'm sick inside_

_Yeah, it makes me wanna cry_

_In the moment it felt so right_

_I'm just a girl who_

_Kissed a boy who_

_Is in love with you_

During the song, Nena looked mostly at James. But at the end, she turned to Lily.

After everyone had finished applauding, Nena whispered into the mike, "I'm sorry Lily." Lily looked over at James who was looking guiltily at his hands and then when he felt someone looking at him, he looked up and saw Lily's emerald eyes boring into his hazel eyes. He gave her a small smile and mouthed, "It's true." That was all Lily needed. She got up and made her way to James and threw her arms around him and whispered in his ear, "I'm glad it's true."

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The end. hope you all liked it. By the way, I didnt know what to put for the clothes and stuff for Nena so I just put how I looked and wore on our valentine's day party last month. we always have these extravagant parties in our house so i decided to just put exactly how i looked and wore. i hope it was satisfactory. ;)

mucho luv,

tufstuf


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